Time

I had the best intentions last night to bring in the new year with a bit of a ritual.  We are moving and I spent the majority of my night, until well after midnight, packing up my ritual room, which had really turned into more of a junk room as the antics from my old Landlord made it impossible for me to open curtains, windows make much noise without him texting my partner and giving him suggestions as to what I was doing in there.  None of it was pretty or happy, however, that is all old news and has been tossed to the side.  Needless to say, all my ritual stuff is safely in boxes ready to go.  The peace of mind that this has brought about is amazing.  I only have my books to put into boxes and that room is done.  Kitchen is tonight's project, oh and the bedroom drawers.  There was no time nor place for me to perform the ritual and I"m not sure that in this place, with all that's gone on, that the ritual would have worked out satisfactorily.

I know that once I am into the place, I'll be doing plenty of rituals, the important thing, I figure, was to celebrate.  That I did, with an awesome trip over the hedge.  I applied a goodly amount of my seven league boots flying ointment and traveled beyond the hedge.  I ran into my son and we conversed about where I was going and what I was doing.  He heartily approved and bid me to continue on my journey.  As I walked the path that I so often walk that takes me to the crossroads, I had a visit from Freyja and as well from Odin.  They gave me a few portents, but mostly they wanted me to know that my choice to move was a good one, and that soon everything that I wanted would fall into place, including learning the runes and meeting my teacher.  I was told that I would be enjoying my wheel of the year, and that information that I was looking for was closer then I realized.  

My studies occupy my thoughts often.  I have already filled many pages with information I have gleaned about the runes.  I'm studying the Elder Fulwark and every day now I do a reading and note it in the journal part of my book of shadows.  I am currently learning about the various Norse Gods, and go back and forth between reading a little of the Poettic Edda and information regarding the various gods themselves.  I get excited when I study and hate to be interrupted so am cooking less and reading more.  (My round little belly thanks me).  

Once we are more settled, I'll be  heading into the green belt behind our apartment to see what kind of wild things I may find there.  I love a new challange, and although it's not a lake or a park it is a big patch of green, more wild and less traveled than the woods I have been exploring the last year.

All in all, I feel that in my own way I have welcomed in the New Year and begun my project well.  I'll continue to work towards discovering the meanings of my dreams and memories.  This year holds so much promise.

Blessings all. 

Moving and Changes

Lately I have not had anything go my way, and when I say lately I mean in the past couple of years lately.  Nothing has gone well or right or anything and I have been floundering.  I have been blaming others for my unmet desires and all in all acting childishly.  My wants and needs were not that demanding, surely I could have had a little something go my way, went my thoughts.  I have been acting foolishly actually.  I might not be getting what I want, but stuff is still happening.  I still have a life and I can do what needs to be done.... You see it never was up to me and putting my fate into the hands of the Gods is the best thing I could have done.  I am not in control, they are.  They always have been, and I might not like it, but the Gods have a reason for everything.  I will admit that moving over towards a more Norse mythology, I am more comfortable and actually hear them talking to me.

So, for now, here's the plan.  I will make no more plans, I will take what the Gods have to offer.  I will learn more about the Gods, the runes and Yggdrasil as I have been told, and I will stop jumping to conclusions about what this or that means.  At least for now until I am more comfortable with the path that is being shown to me.

I knew I would be moving, there has been so much stress with the Landlord. I think all the stress has not just got to me, but to my partner as well.  He found us a place and we move in for the first.  I have 5 days to pack, which is way better than the last time we moved.  I was told we are moving and to start packing now.  

I went out and about a couple of nights ago and was told in my dreams, by Odin no less, that these woods you have loved so dearly, no longer hold what you need.  Your new woods lie to the North.  This was before I found out we were moving.  I thought well, I must be moving into the woods, that is going to be cold work creating a shelter.  I was told mushrooms grow here, and other goodies and trinkets.  I was told happiness lies to the north, as does the freedom that I so desire.

We are finally getting away from the Landlord and his oppressive family.  We will be able to sleep comfortably, knowing we are safe.  It is a security apartment, so no one can get in without being buzzed in.  The back way leads into a serious stretch of green belt and my mushrooms are there, I just know it.  The mall, which also has a bus depot is less than 15 minute walk from the building.  I can go shopping when I wish.  I can go anywhere, any time I like.  Ideally I had wanted my freedom returned and it looks like it has come back to me.

I know it will take a while for me to reap the benefits of this new situation.  I think though, that my Samhain is going to be celebrated with the ultimate move and a cleansing of the soul. :D  What a way to start the Wheel of the year.  In it's own way, this is the best possible outcome for me to ensure that I am happy, as well as those around me. 

Blessings all.

I had my mind opened

My partner and I are going through changes, I'm croneing and he started off in a new career just a couple of months ago, fresh out of Security Guard School.  We're learning to make adjustments, but it is an uphill battle which often leaves me far more exhausted than I should be.  I have felt alone and truly I think I am.  We are quite different him and I, he is clever, fast, hasty, witty; I am patient, thorough, wise, scholarly, spiritual.  We are having a rough spot, and I see from other blogs, I am not the only one.  In the next few days, that should be changing, the winds should be bringing in some excitement and good fortune.

And so it did, I was sitting in my living room ignoring TV and feeling like crap after my partner left yelling at me because who he wanted to yell at wasn't there and he needed someone to yell at.  My heart felt heavy and tears were flowing freely down my cheek because I've been so frustrated with all the nonsense the last week, and the top of my shirt was soaked. When suddenly I heard a strong low female voice say "Be strong small one, I am here and we will get through this together you and I." I suddenly felt like I was being enveloped in a large hug (like the ones your mom gives you when the world knocks you down.  "I, Freya, will keep you safe, little one, no more will he harm you."

Now I know I was tired and sad and I've been reading a lot of Norse mythology in the last few days, but it was just the right thing at just the right time.  She told me to grab my 7 league boots, which is what I call my Flying Ointment and to put it on, finish my movie and then grab the little fleece blanket and head to bed.   She came to me and we crossed the Hedge together, and then she introduced me to my spirit guide, a humming bird.  I don't know much about this, but I'm willing to learn.  I suspect that I have communed with Freya in a small aspect.  We talked about what my options and opportunities are.  I feel better, not so sad.  I know others may think I'm nuts, but then so was Noah and he built an ark.  

I truly never thought I would hear the voice so clearly, and  I was getting so old I thought I had been passed over, never to be more than a mere dabbler.  My ears are open now, and she talks to me sometimes, reminding me to be strong and with a little message of what I can do to keep my cool.  My partner has been on the warpath so much, that even the bed is a battleground.  I keep the blanket with me always and feel safe, like when I was a little girl using my blanket as a flying carpet to get away from the evil Vizier.

I am worn out from trying to work things out in my relationship with my partner, yes, he supports me, but my consequences keep me from having any kind of quality of life.  I have removed the rose coloured glasses and decided to save myself.  It will take a little time, but at least this time it's on my terms.