Tuesday, November 22, 2011

It's been a while...

I haven't posted in a while.  I landed on my feet, and found a place to stay, so I'm not sleeping in a tent in the cold.  I feel fortunate to have a couch to sleep on and meals.  I've been unpacking, healing and working on being more active in the community again.  I'm working on finding all of my tools and treasures so I can set up sacred space, but that takes time.
I have also been participating in my local Occupy movement, and that keeps my mind occupied.  I've moved on to bigger and better things, and had to put some things aside.  Right now is not the time to be visiting a teacher. I feel very strongly that with our current government, it won't be long before religion is dictated to us.  I could not bare that.
Having freedom is one of the most amazing experiences that one can enjoy.  I took it for granted and will never do that again.  I've chosen my path and as soon as I have gone through my things and found my tools I will be practicing once again.
I landed close to a Park, so I can just walk in and do some foraging in there.  My son's place has mice, and I don't want to call them, but I do want them outside, not in my things, so we picked some holly and placed it around the house.  I suspect we need more, but then, it's only into the park for a quick peek and harvest.
Blessings to you all. :D

Monday, November 7, 2011

Current Events

My life right now is all over the place.  The move has not happened, however, oddly enough my partner has a new Iphone. I suspect the rent money for the new place went to his new phone.  His blackberry is not even a year old and we are not rich.  I'm working very hard on not jumping to conclusions, but it is very difficult not to see the writing on the wall.
On Saturday I went and spent the day at our local Occupy site and gave them my full support and in return they gave me theirs.  I have been very active on the forums and the facebook pages, so much so that people, when they found out I was coming, actively looked for me there.  I have been communicating with several people in private messages and actually talked with a young lady who informed me that  I am welcome at the site to stay there until they can help me find a warmer place to live.  I have a lot to offer actually, so it's beneficial to all around.
If you follow my work, you know I have deleted some posts and that I don't want to post my personal life all over the place.  I'll make it simple, I would rather live in a tent in a Canadian winter, with no money and few possessions, then stay one more minute with my partner than I have to.  And with that being said, that is what is happening.  I am rebuilding from the bottom up and may never have a home again.  Once I am settled I will be blogging from the Occupy site.
I am not a crazy woman, I have not come to this decision lightly.  You see, except for my odd forays into the park and the twice a month grocery shop, which required permission and which came with a penalty afterwards.  I have not been allowed to leave the house in months and months, and months.
Many Blessings to you all.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


I had the best intentions last night to bring in the new year with a bit of a ritual.  We are moving and I spent the majority of my night, until well after midnight, packing up my ritual room, which had really turned into more of a junk room as the antics from my old Landlord made it impossible for me to open curtains, windows make much noise without him texting my partner and giving him suggestions as to what I was doing in there.  None of it was pretty or happy, however, that is all old news and has been tossed to the side.  Needless to say, all my ritual stuff is safely in boxes ready to go.  The peace of mind that this has brought about is amazing.  I only have my books to put into boxes and that room is done.  Kitchen is tonight's project, oh and the bedroom drawers.  There was no time nor place for me to perform the ritual and I"m not sure that in this place, with all that's gone on, that the ritual would have worked out satisfactorily.
I know that once I am into the place, I'll be doing plenty of rituals, the important thing, I figure, was to celebrate.  That I did, with an awesome trip over the hedge.  I applied a goodly amount of my seven league boots flying ointment and traveled beyond the hedge.  I ran into my son and we conversed about where I was going and what I was doing.  He heartily approved and bid me to continue on my journey.  As I walked the path that I so often walk that takes me to the crossroads, I had a visit from Freyja and as well from Odin.  They gave me a few portents, but mostly they wanted me to know that my choice to move was a good one, and that soon everything that I wanted would fall into place, including learning the runes and meeting my teacher.  I was told that I would be enjoying my wheel of the year, and that information that I was looking for was closer then I realized.  
My studies occupy my thoughts often.  I have already filled many pages with information I have gleaned about the runes.  I'm studying the Elder Fulwark and every day now I do a reading and note it in the journal part of my book of shadows.  I am currently learning about the various Norse Gods, and go back and forth between reading a little of the Poettic Edda and information regarding the various gods themselves.  I get excited when I study and hate to be interrupted so am cooking less and reading more.  (My round little belly thanks me).  
Once we are more settled, I'll be  heading into the green belt behind our apartment to see what kind of wild things I may find there.  I love a new challange, and although it's not a lake or a park it is a big patch of green, more wild and less traveled than the woods I have been exploring the last year.
All in all, I feel that in my own way I have welcomed in the New Year and begun my project well.  I'll continue to work towards discovering the meanings of my dreams and memories.  This year holds so much promise.
Blessings all. 

Monday, October 31, 2011

Samhain, The Wheel of the Year

All Hallows Eve has arrived, and the move has not yet begun.  Our New Landlord is awesome and the move will happen soon.  It's the Island and it runs on Island time, which is slow and laid back. A few more days while the other tenant moves out is not a big deal. I can handle that.
My partner leaves for work tonight at 10:00 pm, and with that, I will set up an alter to be ready for midnight. I'll have time for a bath and to make a little snack worthy of the gods.  I know that tonight I will dedicate myself to the study of the Norse and Celtic mythology/faith as well as the war at the sea of Amergin that banished the fae into the cairns below the earth they once hunted.  I know that this year I will be creating the garment that Freya asked me to make, all covered in runes and my version of Yggdrasil.  I have set myself to learning the runes, and it's taking it's time.  Most likely because I want to know as much as possible about each rune so that I can divine more easily and more accurately.  I have this overwhelming desire to do this with flare.  To put my entire heart and soul into it.  This is the core of my project for the wheel of the year.  I have no hearth fire to light, so a candle will be my hearth for now.
What cinched the deal was learning about the ancestor worship.  Until this year I had never really understood that it was not necromancy, but speaking with the spirits of your family.  I  had to drop all my preconcieved notions of myself, magic, the word witch.  I was on the trail about 5 years ago when I discovered the work of Robin Artison.  It was through his writings and his links that I kept looking into different kinds of belief and magic.  As I kept looking I discovered a word... haegtessa... that led me to a blog by a young woman named Sarah Lawless who has several blogs, but the one I love the most is the Witch of Forest Grove.  From there I jumped in with both feet.  Her blog is like a mentor to me, with no judgement, just explanations.
I have started a journal in a note book to deal with all my personal strife and woes, so I can learn from my mistakes and move on.  I have discovered a little button called revert to draft and after thinking long and hard, I'll be removing posts that are not involved with progress towards my studies.  I'll keep them around to learn from them, but there is no need to make them public... they are now for my use only.  I got to thinking what a handy little button ... it's like unpublish. :D
I wish you all a very Merry Samhain and hope it is as mystical and magical for you as it is for me.  Blessings to you all.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Back on Track

I started packing up my things late last night.  I don't know why I felt like I had to pack up a couple of boxes in the middle of the night, but that is exactly what I did.  It was my back room full of art supplies, 25 years worth of notebooks (filled), some fabric and crafting items like beads and buttons threads and yarns.  the items I use for worship and sacred crafting and a small selection of books.  This room held so much potential and it is a shame that I was unable to use it the way it was intended. In fact, it became a junk room with things just tossed hither and yon without a thought because the room was just so uncomfortable to be in. I look forward to my new bedroom, which will have an entry to the balcony I believe (if not there is still a window).  It will house my desk and sewing machine, shelves and my altar.  I am so excited and this keeps me motivated.
For now, this move will give me some much needed breathing space and an opportunity to find me again.  There will be no cable or internet for that matter, for I don't know how long.  Hopefully I can get that rectified quickly.  I don't care about the cable for TV though, I want to get my books back and read all the things I am behind on.  The first thing going up in that room is my Wheel of the Year and that actually might be put on the door.  I will have time to complete my task of learning the runes.  I also hope now to meet some people and talk with them about Norse magic.  I still have so many things to study, which all got lost in the push and shove to just survive being in this negative place.  I know what I have been asked to study and that communing with the Gods has become easier since I discovered my magic blanket which I sleep on nightly to keep me safe and use primarily for flying.  I think of it more like a magic carpet, and for now it works wonders.
I have been given tasks by my Gods and I want to get those down on paper and complete them in a timely fashion so I don't loose the lesson of it.  As each day goes by and the move looms ever closer, I become happier knowing that soon I will be sleeping well every night, and that shopping will no longer be a burden.  Already my life is better and I am completely satisfied with the direction it is going.  I think a Samhain move is perfect.... First thing I'll do is clean out any lingering bugaboos and work on creating a totally safe and harmonized home.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Moving and Changes

Lately I have not had anything go my way, and when I say lately I mean in the past couple of years lately.  Nothing has gone well or right or anything and I have been floundering.  I have been blaming others for my unmet desires and all in all acting childishly.  My wants and needs were not that demanding, surely I could have had a little something go my way, went my thoughts.  I have been acting foolishly actually.  I might not be getting what I want, but stuff is still happening.  I still have a life and I can do what needs to be done.... You see it never was up to me and putting my fate into the hands of the Gods is the best thing I could have done.  I am not in control, they are.  They always have been, and I might not like it, but the Gods have a reason for everything.  I will admit that moving over towards a more Norse mythology, I am more comfortable and actually hear them talking to me.
So, for now, here's the plan.  I will make no more plans, I will take what the Gods have to offer.  I will learn more about the Gods, the runes and Yggdrasil as I have been told, and I will stop jumping to conclusions about what this or that means.  At least for now until I am more comfortable with the path that is being shown to me.
I knew I would be moving, there has been so much stress with the Landlord. I think all the stress has not just got to me, but to my partner as well.  He found us a place and we move in for the first.  I have 5 days to pack, which is way better than the last time we moved.  I was told we are moving and to start packing now.  
I went out and about a couple of nights ago and was told in my dreams, by Odin no less, that these woods you have loved so dearly, no longer hold what you need.  Your new woods lie to the North.  This was before I found out we were moving.  I thought well, I must be moving into the woods, that is going to be cold work creating a shelter.  I was told mushrooms grow here, and other goodies and trinkets.  I was told happiness lies to the north, as does the freedom that I so desire.
We are finally getting away from the Landlord and his oppressive family.  We will be able to sleep comfortably, knowing we are safe.  It is a security apartment, so no one can get in without being buzzed in.  The back way leads into a serious stretch of green belt and my mushrooms are there, I just know it.  The mall, which also has a bus depot is less than 15 minute walk from the building.  I can go shopping when I wish.  I can go anywhere, any time I like.  Ideally I had wanted my freedom returned and it looks like it has come back to me.
I know it will take a while for me to reap the benefits of this new situation.  I think though, that my Samhain is going to be celebrated with the ultimate move and a cleansing of the soul. :D  What a way to start the Wheel of the year.  In it's own way, this is the best possible outcome for me to ensure that I am happy, as well as those around me. 
Blessings all.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Life happens

There is so much for me to think about these days.  I feel overwhelmed and yet, some of it is everything that I have asked for.  Other parts of it are just laying in wait for an opportune moment.  I'm not sleeping well and with so many things up in the air and so many paths available to me I have not even had a chance to plan out how I'm going to get everything done.
I have an opportunity to study with a Norse Shaman, who happens to live on a neighbouring Island, so he is only a ferry ride away.  It's actually the chance of a life time and he has put me to my first task of learning the runes.  I am excited about this and am learning them fairly quickly considering all that is going on.
I'm one of the 99%, as so many of us are.  However, I am opinionated, and passionate and have joined Occupy Nanaimo, so from the sidelines I have been writing letters and getting steamed and calming things down on the forums when I can.  It is something I really believe in because it's becoming more and more impossible for me to produce 3 meals a day on our budget.
We have  had issues with our SlumLandlord, so we have been looking for a place to live.  It looks like we may have found one.  This means I will be packing up all of our stuff over the next few weeks if everything goes according to plan.  Once we move out I will be able to, in theory, go out more.  When we move, things will be easier, I'll be close to shopping and buses and friends again, but that is a month away.
In all honesty, since I've found out we are moving, I've been happier.  Hope has returned and I'm actually looking forward to the new place.