Surprise, Surprise...LOL

I went for a walk in my park today, but instead of going in my usual entrance which is here,

I wandered up the College Drive a little bit further towards the first turn-off to the right.  The reason for this is simple,  I decided that I would make a secret garden in the park and what looked like a perfect location was a small field in behind the scrub at the end of the Cul-de-sac.  I had looked up everything on Google Maps and Google Earth.  So I see the road, and walk in towards the Cul-de-sac that I know is at the end of a houseless street (according to the maps); however, this road is no longer houseless, there are, I believe four houses there, three closer to College Drive, and one near to the little round about.  Along this road is a fine selection of wild flowers that usually grow near woods, in the open areas.

I see these pretty blue flowers all over Nanaimo, along the roads and more wide open areas.

Broom is everywhere, and next time I'm remembering to poke a spare bag in my collector bag, so I can drag some home, dry it out and try my hands at making a besom style broom.

This little beauty was covered in purple flowers, and bees by the score were harvesting full throttle,how perfect I want an apiary in my secret garden, this would be ideal, so close and convenient.

This thistle too, gave me time to reflect on how wonderful this area would be.

'Well now!  This is exciting!' I thought and became giddy with delight at how close to the Hedge (the forest wall that seperates the tame and lawful from the wild and unlawful) this was.  I walked past the fancy and final house and my anticipation grew so much so that I could feel a big smile all across my face, only to be greeted by this:

and this:

Well I am a witch, a hedge-ryder, and a trouble maker extraordinaire.  I will not be held back by lame signs that mean to keep me from my goal.  I want a a secret garden and I will have one or know the reason why!  I put on my grumpy Ember face and trudged along the poorly blocked path into the scrub area just in beyond the rocks.  Ok, so no secret garden here, for there was downfall and roots standing on end, and big rock piles and no way to get past anything.  In fact, it was dangerous in there.  I knew that a new sub-division was going in not to far from the other end of those rocks, so there would be no privacy.  Although my way was blocked and this site holds absolutely no promise for creating my garden aspirations, there are some prospects on the other side of the lake, so all is not lost.  It is mid dayish and I don't do well in heat and sunlight.  I'm very fair skinned, and can be burn within 15 minutes of exposure to the sun, so I wear large baggy clothes and a hat that covers me up and provides shade, but still has a tendency to cause overheating.  I looked around my little lost area and in no time discovered a path that lead into a familiar part of the Park I'd been exploring.  I quickly made for the path with little more than a hint of regret for the loss of future garden and headed into the woods, my favorite part of any walk.

Looks like I found the forest spirit.  I want to come back and look at her, see where she's pointing, it looks like the other side of the lake, but I could be wrong.  All in all it was an excellent and informative walk.  I have lots of food for thought, now that my sleeping is back on track. 

 I finally got my partner to understand that I don't have to sleep with him when he works graveyards, but I can come and visit him, lay down until he falls asleep, do my chores, and return close to waking time and be there as he wakes up, then he doesn't miss me so much.  It has been difficult for us, this graveyard shift, but we are starting to get the hang of it and devell,op a new rhythem for a happy and productive life.

A quick definition on chores is in order as well.  I don't work, or at this point bring a penny into the house.  My partner completely supports me; however, I cook and clean, this is my nature, I love a neat house, and he is a tidy man, so it's not a bother.  He wants me to relax and enjoy my life, be as though retired.  He wants me to take the time to work on my arts, my crafts, my magic and my cooking, reading, writing, all the things I wanted to do, but never had time to do when I was supporting my kids all on my own.  He likes my art and he wants me to be the artist I was meant to be.  He supports me financially, emotionally, spiritually and even promotes my work to others.  Everything else aside, I am a lucky girl, to have someone like him and it's worth putting up with the shenanigans, guess that's what it means by unconditional love.  <3

Reclusive by Nature

For  a long time I have tinkered with the idea of being a recluse; moving into the woods, living off the land, selling a few items for what I can't grow or make myself.  There are several things involved here that sort of make this interesting.  I'm not some city woman rambling about moving into the woods because she has had it with society, so it's no snit.  I actually lived in the woods with my husband and kids nineteen years ago, where we lived off the land.  I grew fruits and berries and vegetables of all types, even had a green house.  I got up every morning, lit the cook stove, made the breakfast, taught the kids, tended the garden, ran the household.  Our cottage housed four of us and was twenty feet, by twelve feet.  The kids loft was across from ours, theirs being more of room, with two beds and a large play area to play with their legos in during the winter.  It was wide open, so there was no privacy anywhere in that house except for the bathroom.  Our loft was basically a pedestal for our matress with drawers and storage beneath it.  Under the kids loft was a small den, teaching area (the kids were homeschooled), and a bathroom with a shower and toilet (one does not want to be running to the outhouse at the edge of the when it's bear season. We had a tiny kitchen with a wood stove where I preserved things by jarring, like salmon, deer, fruits and vegetables.  I also had two cold rooms, one beneath the house and one on the northern face of the house, for storing winter vegetables.  After a couple of years of living like this and finding I was doing the majority of the work, I went on strike and we moved into town.  I do not see how going hunting with your buddies everyday and coming back with nothing, but that stupid I been smoking pot all afternoon and you don't know smile truly contributes to the household.  I was worn out, doing everything myself and catering to the whims of a big baby of a man and when we moved into town I discovered more about his antics and lady friends, so he became my ex, and I moved me and my children away from the peace of the Queen Charlotte Islands. I miss my home in the woods, and had it just been me, I would have stayed.
So this is something I know I can accomplish.  I mostly want garden space and a place to put my head at night, or just watch the stars.  I look forward to working in the garden during the spring summer and autumn, falling to studying during the winter.  I craft and make things out of nature, so I will have mountain to study and collect in .  I am highly creative and at this point in my life just want to devote myself to my studies.  I have one thing in the way.... My partner, who I love very much.
I am in a relationship, it is not easy, he is very in tune with me and feels me want to run away and enjoy my freedom.  everytime I get the inclination, things become intense because he grips tighter.  I just need space, but the tighter he reigns me in, the more animosity I build up towards him.  He is trying to give me the freedom to do as I please.  If only trying were succeeding and I do give him credit for his attempts.  We do love each other, but that being said, is love enough.  I know it should be and I keep that thought in mind.  I have found that sometimes by giving in, I am rewarded with more freedom. Couples are all about power struggles, and I hate power struggles.  Being adults and working towards a happy medium is what we both are doing, but anyone who's been in a relationship knows that there are factors that need to be taken into account and that there is always more to things than breaking up.  What's the point if you are inexplicably drawn back to each other over and over again.  Anyone who's been there knows what I am talking about.  Learning to be together is part of the relationship process, just as much as learning to be apart.  This makes it hard for me, because for the most part, I wish to be alone, not catering to anyone else.  I've catered to others all my life.  I want to be responsible just for me, I'm fifty years old and I have been responsible for people since I was a small girl, starting with my little sister when I was five, then my mom when I was ten needed constant watching and keeping out of trouble, and then it blossomed, with my mom always bringing me back home to look after her and my father until he died, my sister also pulled me in to look after mom after dad died.  I had kids, far to many family members and boyfriends pulling me in to look after this and that, each one telling me that I was being pulled from the important responsibilities.  Each participant in this dance of the responisibilities believes they are special and that they are the only one allowed to make demands on my time, all others are interferring and I must cast them aside now.  In their eyes, first and foremost, I am a worker bee, busy and chipper, always smiling, always needing something to do so that I can be happy.  I have explained to my family and friends that I don't mind helping out once in a while, but I happy to work quickly, so I can get on to my OWN endeavers.  I have put some things off for over twenty years and now my body is not fit enough to do what I wanted and sadly enough there was not enough time for me to exercise in the past few years and now I"m really out of shape.  I absolutely do not need help finding things to do, I have a huge pile of unfinished projects vetoed by well meaning friends and relations.
The only one who actually gets that I really need freedom to be creative now is my partner, so I'm not in a hurry to turn my back on him.  We are working both of us, to achieve freedom and serenity within our home.  This being the case, I may very well just include him in my plans, but do them behind his back and then move him in.  Or perhaps, I'll be a sometimes hermit, going on sebaticles to get away from it all.  Ultimately, where I am at in my life, if anything were to happen to Sean and I find myself on my own, I would want to have my own little hermitage to fall back on.
All my little forays into the Westwood Lake area, and looking at Mount Benson, I'm sure I could find a little secluded acreage, where I could put up a temporary shelter with a bed and fireplace, as well as an intensive garden. 
Well that is a lot to think about, all for a little freedom and security for my future. LOL
Perhaps less talky-talky, writey-writey and more looky-looky in the park is in order.

I love my Park

So, another fine day and another fine walk in the park has me feeling that all is well with the world.  Each time I enter, I return with gifts from the forest; today it was some arbutus bark, a rather large peice that had fallen off the tree in front of me and the spirit in the forest was urging me to take it because it will come in useful quite soon.  How exciting, I can't wait to find out what it's for.  As well I found a fourway crossroad and made sure to grab a goodly portion of dirt for drying, sorting and sifting later.
I was under the impression that Indian Pipeplant is rare, however everywhere I look these days, I see it.  Either it's not as rare as it's been made out to be, or the woods is full of mycelium of the right kind that creates this.  After all, in the early spring there were quite a few fly agarics everywhere I looked as well as emetic russela.  What with the strange year and it's weather patterns being unseasonably off kilter, and my suspicion that there is mycelium throughout the entire park, it is no wonder that there are so many Indian Pipeplants.  If that holds true, my desire to gather some beautiful amanitas to dry and prepare for teas and oils etcetera should happen in September and be ready for final consumption by Samhain.  What a way to start my magical year.
I think the next place we move I will have a motorized scooter so that I can get around.  I've been forming this opinion, and as the years grow so does my desire for this increases .... The desire to move into the woods and live a completely different life, all but off the beaten track.  That is probably more of a pipedream, \which makes sense when you consider all the pipeplants I've seen laterly. LOL

A Walk in the Park

I am fortunate to live around the corner from Westwood Lake in Nanaimo.  If you google it, you will see a huge lake surrounded by woodland, part of which goes up a mountain.  I have walked up to the main beach from my place and that is an easy half hour round trip kind of saunter into the park.  There are a fair amount of people, but it's not overly crowded.  I use the entrance by the mobile home that veers left into the woods passing by a rather eerie tree with dessimated towels hanging from it and it feels as though someone had harboured the idea of skinning an animal there.  In late winter, early spring there was a rash of bizarre deer huntings by bow that left more questions than answers and I suspect this little outpost is a remnent of that hunting debaucle.  I don't mind a little eerie on my walk, so I just go in that way, and am always pleased with the results. 
Nearby I have found Indian pipe weed, Rusella mushrooms, and some amanita pantherinas.  If you turn right you can head towards the main beach and concession stand, this is usually where I turn around and head home when I'm on a short walk.  It's wooded and pretty, verdantly abundant, a good place to turn around.
However; this is not the route I took.  I live on Weaver, so I turned left at the top of the road, onto college drive and headed towards the Westwood Lake Trail.
This area has less traffic and so it is more fun to take pictures and root around a little before someone comes snooping along to see what you are doing.  I always have a pocket knife with me for snipping off bits of this and that, (not without permission of course) carefully so as not to leave the plant hurt.  It's a much longer route to the lake, but then the lake is not my destination, the woods are.  I was looking around at the bounty provided and was reminded of hunting for huckleberries when I was a kid and we lived right near Lynn Canyon Park. 

I was halfway tempted to start picking and eating, but then thought better of it.  I left the bright little red berries alone and continued to walk coming across some salelle.  I hate salelle berries, I think they taste gross, however; I have friends who just love them and claim they make great jam.

There is one thing for them, they sure look pretty with their dark green foiliage, scattered across the woodland floor.
I must admit, I am rusty, and there are some things I am having trouble identifying, so if you have any idea what they are I would appreciate it.  My fabulous book of wildlife is at my son's house, packed up to come here, but not available yet.

I'm curious to know what those white feathery floaty flowers are.

I would like to know what the serated dark green foilage and the blue berries are.

Also am interested in finding out more about the light green viney plant covering the forest floor is.

I'm going to try to figure out what these are because I want to know all about the herbs, trees, plants shrubs and mushrooms in the area are.  I love herbs and know they hold keys to all kinds of healing.  And it's right about now that I'm wishing I knew a shaman in the area who could help me train up in local herbarl lore.

Now of course I did have a purpose in going into the woods.  I was actually looking for some willow.  I guess I didn't look in the right places, because it evaded me.  Luckily I found a few other things that piqued my interest.  I harvested a nice long cedar branch, straight and true, bark on.  I had forgotten my offerings, but I did have a quarter in my bag, so I polished it up and gave it to the tree in thanks. 

I love where my studies are taking me and am working on more walks that last longer, go further and garner more wildcrafting.

Secretly though.... I want to find a little place, fence it in, put up a small tiny little house and live quietly..... Dream on Ember... Dream  :D

Indian Pipe Plant

So the other day I went for a walk and discovered some Indian Pipe Plant growing in the area.  It's an interesting little plant, that when touched will turn to black goo, or blacken and wither, so harvesting it, is not an option.  This interesting little plant has no chlorophyll, so naturally it is eerily devoid of colour.  In fact it almost has a luminescent quality that reminds me of glow in the dark toys that suck up the light from the sun and when you put them in the dark, they glow.  Due to the nature of the plant being so easy to destroy and the fact that it is a parasite and requires two hosts makes the Pipe Plant rather uncommon.







Since the plant has no chlorophyll, it cannot make it's own food, therefore it's survival relies on a host. Two hosts actually, one being a mushroom either the Russula or the Lactarius, that the plant can attach itself to the mycelia (root like threads) of the above mentioned fungii, which is already taking nutrients from a beech or pine tree.

Now luckily for me, I had been out mushroom hunting and noted that not only were some Amanitas both Muscarias and some Pantherinas nearby, but also there were some Russula.  I noticed them peeking out from beneath the gnarled roots of pine that grow near the pathway into Westwood Lake by the mobile home.  I did not pick up any of the mushrooms, I was not in the headspace to sort out good from bad, but I took note of their shape and form, drew a few by hand because I find the shapes appealing and there has always been some secret there that I know one day I will unlock, that day is close, but it is not here yet.

However; I know that I will find the amanitas again, probably come fall, just before Samhain, which is my goal really, to have some amanitas for Samhain, and as a backup, I will see if I can pick up some amanita oleum, only to take a small dose.  I'm not looking for a full on drug trip, just a more heighted experience of my normal journies over the hedge.