I don't know what's going on. I go to bed, I sleep, up to 12 hours wake up for a few hours, then go back to sleep for 10 hours, yesterday was up for 10 whole hours, then woke up 14 hours later.... What the Hell!!!
It's like this: every day I have good intentions of going for a walk. This is much needed because I'm not in the best of health, you know, pushing 50, overweight, grumpy from croning, and my bowels and I, I swear, are enemies. I know the walking would help in all aspects of my life, and the park entrance is less than 100 meters away maybe closer to 80 meters, and I can't find my way there? I don't get it, it's not laziness, it's this damn sleeping, and I feel so bloated some days and like the bathroom is just too far away and my fear of not making it in time keeps me in the house, and sometimes in bed, because it's right beside the bathroom.
You might be thinking I should see a doctor about this, I have, I've got IBS and all the troubles that go with. In fact, I've known for years about my condition and learned to live around it. It's at the time in my life where it's not some days are better than others, but some weeks are better than others. It's why I like to have at home projects, and why I am working on creating my own business.
On home days I hand sew, crochet, knit, work on wands, draw, paint and other small creative endeavors. It keeps me happy and it keeps my hopes up. It gives me something to do during the day so I don't stagnate and fret about not getting out and about, but this sleeping business is now cutting into my days.
There is wild harvesting to be done, and health wise I need to get out and stretch my legs. For now, I keep up with my healthy diet, mostly fruit and veg, very little meat, and lots of whole grains. I do know how to take care of myself, but sometimes, I'm in no shape, and my companion takes over and looks out for me, this means, take out food and feet up chair (lazy boy) and lots of sleep. So, I guess that means I'm stuck in Catch 22 land, and I need to find a way to do the things I want to do when I want to do them. It's a little like being in a gilded cage, only my health is what's holding the key. I'm doing as the doctor has said, plenty of bedrest and a healthy diet, and walks when I can. So, now when I need it most, the walks are out of the question. When I can I'll be picking up some supplies so that I can continue crafting and work towards one of two big plans. 1. to adhere closely to the Wheel of the Year and become more in-tune with the witchy side of me. 2. to create an inventory of items for sale to help support my venture. I'm hoping to have some stock by Samhain, I already have some actually, but they are in transit here from my son's house. I have them boxed up, but getting them here is the problem.
I don't drive, my sight is slightly off from my stigmatism and that is enough to keep me from getting a license; however I am always optomistic and they have those cute little scooters (which are more my speed anyways), so once I have one of those, which is in the plans for my birthday at the end of the month, then I will have my magic broom, so to speak. Living up by Westwood Lake has it's advantages, like the Park and the quiet, however there are disadvantages as well, such as shopping is miles away, and the bus runs every half hour, but is never on time and is often cut when they are running low, which means that you can wait at the bus stop for an hour or more . My partner works night shift, so when I want to shop, (daylight hours), he's too tired and cranky, or sleeping. We are lucky with grocery shopping and I can get some supplies at the local Superstore which is open until 11 pm. I would rather shop during the day, and be able to make pilgramages to the beach, the mountains, the shops and the places that sell local handcrafters items (like mine), or even head with my stuff to the local farmers market.
I don't know about you, but I like to get into the zen of things. I focus on my intent, enjoy the selecting of the items I need. I take my time and what I need just comes to my fingertips, and it's always a good price. Yes, these are the things I am missing, and have been missing for the past 9 months since we moved to this location. I admit that it was a bad move, but we will do our best to get past this and we are also working on a plan to move to a better location. However, the focus remains, getting healthy, walking, finding out what makes me sleep so much, and getting out and about more so that I don't feel so housebound and depressed. As you can see, I kind of miss shopping, for shopping's sake, not the grocery shopping kind, but the browsing and selecting of delightful little things. One can only do so much with the selection at the superstore. LOL!
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